Sunday, July 4, 2010

Chat with Deb 07/04

i am ok, just being reflective

David: doing ok - getting 'er done

oh boy

debbiekalexander: wanting to say the right thing

David: just say it deb

whats wrong?

debbiekalexander: nothing is wrong, i just am thinking about how to handle stuff

seriously you better not even think about leaving me

David: I don't like the effect this is having on you

debbiekalexander: the effect you are seeing is just the initial absorbtion

Sent at 4:19 PM on Sunday

David: i hate to see you unhappy.

sorry taking calls at same time

debbiekalexander: i am not unhappy at all. just meloncholy

David: tell nathan i activated his game account

pls

shrug well we know nothing at this point except they say i need surgery

debbiekalexander: i will let him know

Sent at 4:23 PM on Sunday

David: thanks - ok do you want to discuss it more here?

debbiekalexander: i have actually been writing you an email

David: oh boy

going back to Rick? :P

debbiekalexander: but if it is easier to do it in real time i am fine

David: nah email is fine hon

debbiekalexander: yep...f.u.

lol

David: ow

lol

debbiekalexander: i have my backups...dont worry about me

just kidding

seriously

David: can you send me those pics you took at the lake of mike and kate?

i worry about that too ya know

i want to ruin you for other men =- permanently

debbiekalexander: yep i will forard them to you

i love you for wanting me ruined

David: drimmer@gmail.com if you can

smile

have you talked with susan today?

debbiekalexander: i have been honest with you when i have told you that you are the best lover.

David: i really really want her gone out of the house

debbiekalexander: i mean it

David: i am best?

debbiekalexander: nope haven't talked to susan

you are the best

David: why does that mean so much to men? to me?

debbiekalexander: i love you

David: just so you know i am right now thumping my chest

debbiekalexander: probably becasue you know that i mean it

my hulk

my brute

David: oh yes i do lover

hah

tell jean if you wish or need to

you two are siamese twins anyway

debbiekalexander: i love you more than you will ever realize

David: it's why u put up with my crap

debbiekalexander: i already told jean

David: like meritline

oh

what was her response?

debbiekalexander: jean is pissed off at god

David: good riddance?

oh yeah i knew i liked her

debbiekalexander: she is really upset and wants us to come over

David: me too

i am very pissed

debbiekalexander: it might surprise you to learn that i am not pissed off at god

David: but then i think, shrug, it's just this personal thing he an i have -

she is really upset? that surprises me

debbiekalexander: a lot of people were very angry with god during johns situation

and i never could go down that road

i tried to expain it to paul once

David: well he and I have been arm wrestling a long time - i just never expected him to cheat

Sent at 4:34 PM on Sunday

debbiekalexander: i told him that gods way isn't always our way and we may never understand why some things happen...i assume taht if he wants us to know why things happen then we will learn everything upon our death

he does things in his time and for his reason.

i accept it becasue i accept his love for us unconditionally. it is part of my faith

David: i know and i don't begrudge you for it

debbiekalexander: i have been trhuogh hell and back and know that when he sent jesus here knowing tha he would die a horrible death that he did it to show his love for us.

you and i would say it is crazy talk

David: i don't mess with your faith

i respect it

debbiekalexander: but it is what i believe in to get me by with life

i also believe in prayer and that is why i tell people things that most people keep to themselves

i figure if people love me like i think they do they will offer me and my intentions up in prayer

and that is what will help move mountains

David: i trust you with this info. Btw, you are only person I trust and the only person I would have ever shared infor like this with

debbiekalexander: i blieve you

David: http://kansascity.craigslist.org/fuo/1825612810.html

something like this for the lake house

debbiekalexander: they are pretty but they are for midgets

look how close to the ground they are

lol

David: i know rofl

perfect for your family

debbiekalexander: yu are crazy

David: however - i like the rustic and simple design - just an idea

debbiekalexander: i agree. i just think they would look out of place

David: oh yeah - so close to the ground

Sent at 4:41 PM on Sunday

debbiekalexander: http://www.kmart.com/shc/s/p_10151_10104_00871597000P?keyword=kitchen+table+set&prdNo=2&blockNo=2&blockType=G2

i was thinking of two of these side by side

kind of opposite of your thinking

David: actually like that

can you describe that table you found in the back?

that big one?

debbiekalexander: it looks like it is one that might have a hidden extension underneath it. it has about a 4" apron that goeas all the way around it. dark wood. i didn't see legs at all

David: prob stacked in that room

debbiekalexander: i assume so.

David: http://www.buffalo-lumber.com/pine-paneling.htm

the one on the right is the one i am thinking of - where i like the look

debbiekalexander: i like the looks of that

the one on the left is what my dad finsihed our family roomin the hosue we grew up in

David: hmmm

i love the look in firelight and evening sun

http://www.lowes.com/pd_304509-17587-PMPW08_0_?productId=3056261&Ntt=pine%20paneling&Ntk=i_products&pl=1¤tURL=/pl__0__s?newSearch=true$Ntt=pine%20paneling

debbiekalexander: i just sent you a link on cl for a table and chair set that also has 5 extra bar sttol height chairs

David: i like this horizontal for the walls - perhaps only the bottom third or so and then vertical up the rest of the way

ok checking it now

i would even love it for the ceiling

debbiekalexander: i bet it would be very nice.

maybe too heavy for celing but we could certainly stain luan to do the trick

she even has luan back in the bathroom

David: its 1/3rd inch thick so it may work

the price is high perhaps and if luan is cheaper ...

debbiekalexander: maybe. i figure the ceiling might be the last thing we finish

David: i say so too...

Sent at 4:57 PM on Sunday

debbiekalexander: just fyi i am looking at some cheap but qulaity minded sofas. i sent one to you

David: ok checking

debbiekalexander: flexsteel is an excellent name brand

David: got your email

mrs. rimmer

debbiekalexander: nothing fancy

David: yes it is

debbiekalexander: love you

David: love you too

table is not rustic nor big enough

debbiekalexander: whatever

lol

David: smile

if i had my druthers

i would ax down a giant redwood - eight feet across, cut a 12 foot section, square off the sides and plunk it down in the middle of the house.

debbiekalexander: okay paul bunyan

but really we dont have time

lol

David: smile

i know

hey nothing wrong with flexsteel

and that couch is perfect

debbiekalexander: i sent an email. maybe it is still available

David: yep

the way you are g oing maybe we should put a hitch on your van

debbiekalexander: if we could get two sofas like that a couple of chairs even bring up the stuff from basement it would be perfect

David: yep - rough and carefree - good for night reading and fireside moments

debbiekalexander: absolutely

we need to get this house ready asap so we can have those fireplace moments

David: 3125 Wyandotte St

KCMO 64111

that is the address of the burn barrells

debbiekalexander: okay???

David: i definately want it ready for the fall and winter

debbiekalexander: oh okay

David: i suspect

that we will have good use of it in the winter

i will try and pick some up tomorrow if he is around

debbiekalexander: not the best neighborhood

i will get you some cash

David: hmmm

looks like its just downtown....

I could swing by on the way to work with the trailer - for the price of five each, should i like get 4 of them? just in case?

debbiekalexander: i bet you are right i was thinking it was by VA

David: its off 31st street and linwood blvd

not too far from the new home depot and cost co there

going to lunch - will take phone - be in touch as soon as i get something to eat.

love ya

tell ya what

lets just go on iwth our lives like this isn't happening

debbiekalexander: going to camp. ttyl

we can try to do that

David: just do it matter of fact and let the chips fall where they may

ok camp? you?

debbiekalexander: i will try

David: a bit old ain't ya?

mike was a bit startling today

debbiekalexander: cute. off ot deleiver cpap

what do you mean

he wants to talk about things

David: just blurting it out like that

debbiekalexander: what everything means

what to expect

David: shrug

put me off a bit

debbiekalexander: he is an adult and you are his dad

dont be offended

he just needs to hear from you

David: ok

debbiekalexander: do you want me to tell him to back off

David: i will - tonight perhaps

debbiekalexander: would it make you more comfortable

David: no don't do that

i will set him straight while giving him info

debbiekalexander: ok just checking i want what youwant

ok hon

go eat

i will ttyl

David: thanks - u too . be good - ttyl

Sent at 5:20 PM on Sunday

debbiekalexander: are you online

David: yes

debbiekalexander: i am getting ready to go to bed. katie is sick and puking at camp

David: ouch

debbiekalexander: i also have been reading up on your type of kidney mass

\David: hmmm

ebbiekalexander: they will treat it as a stage 1 cancer regardless of what it might be

they will in all likelihood remove the entire kidney

David: christ

jesus h christ

debbiekalexander: they will or might put you on a regimen of chemo drugs for a time being

David: oh my fucking god

sec - on a call

debbiekalexander: they will likely take a lymph node to see if it has spread

David: oh christ

am i likely to die?

debbiekalexander: the good part is that if it is less than 7cm then it is stage one and there is a 95% survival rate

no death is very unlikely

however we have to put you on a big time diet

it is called a renal diet

you have to pretty much eliminate all phosporus from your diet.

David: he said large mass

i think he said that

he said there is a mass on your left kidney

debbiekalexander: which includes soda, beer, peanut buttger, icecream, cheesse and nuts

i thought you meantioned 4 cm and used the word encapsulated

David: sec - call

debbiekalexander: if both of those terms were used then it is easily stage 1 and very curable

David: no i never said 4 cm - i did say encap

debbiekalexander: encapsulated means that it fits entirely inside and within the kidney

therefore as long as it hasn't spread then you remove the kidney all can be golden

David: within the kidney!

christ

debbiekalexander: i know it sounds scary but it is actually good

David: i had no idea it was inside the kidney

debbiekalexander: it means that hopefully it hasnt spread

David: how painful is it - i mean symptoms prior to surgery?

i mean it aches right now

debbiekalexander: as long as the other kidney is healthy you should be ok

David: does that mean its aggressive?

FUCK A TRUCK!

debbiekalexander: the surgery and recovery will be painful for about a week

David: christ woman

i don't know what to say

debbiekalexander: they wont count it as aggressive unless it is stage 3 or 4 and even then it might be slow growing

David: you think my changces are good?

overall?

don't lie to me

debbiekalexander: however since the doctor said they caught it early and that it was encapsulated it is indicative that it only a stage one

David: i mean don't suger coat it

christ

debbiekalexander: you have a very good chance of completely getting rid of it

David: God must really hate me

debbiekalexander: and never getting it back

are you listening to me

you have a good chance

David: sheesh, all i said was he had to keep his cards above the table where everyone can see them

debbiekalexander: of beating this

David: holy shit

debbiekalexander: i wont lie to you

but you will have to quit smoking and we wil have to change our diet

David: i know but i don't want anyting sweetened either

debbiekalexander: i am not sugar coating anything

David: it aches right now - is that typical ? or somatoform stuff?

debbiekalexander: i did this research so that i could be prepared as to what we were up against

not uncommon for you to have flank pain

David: i know - i have been too ...

afraid to look into it

debbiekalexander: if you were a smaller man we might even be able to see and palpate it

that is why you have me to do the investigative stuff

David: christ - SEE IT?

debbiekalexander: you will have surgery soon, probably within a week.

and be in the hospital for 2-6 days

and light duty for 6 weeks

David: christ on a crutch

what happens if i ignore it and just go on with my life? and hope for the best?

debbiekalexander: followed by frequent follow ups and maybe chemo

then it will grow, maybe fast or maybe slow. this type can metasisize to your lung, bones, liver or brain

we are going to be proactive and aggressive and use our karate to kick its ass

David: how do you figure out what type it is?

debbiekalexander: just saying

David: our karate is strong...

debbiekalexander: if it is between 0-4 cm and encapsulated it is stage 1

if larger than 4-7 and encapsulated then stage 2

if it has spread to lymph nodes or adrenal gland then stage 3

if it has spread to a distant organ then stage 4

If the cancer is limited to the kidney, the 5-year survival rate is estimated as 90%. If it is found in a local lymph node, the survival rate drops to 60%. If it has spread to a distant organ, the 5-year survival rate is 9%. The overall survival rate for someone with kidney cancer averages 63%.

David: on phone with brian right now

debbiekalexander: so in a nut shell i know know exactly what to pray for

ok babe

Sent at 11:21 PM on Sunday

David: got to go for now sweetheart - so go to bed

debbiekalexander: okay hon. wake me when you get in

i love you

and just fyi i am not afraid

Sent at 11:25 PM on Sunday

David: i am - i am completely terrified

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