Deb and I met with the urologist last week who confirmed the cancer dx. It is stage 2 and will likely require the removal of the entire kidney due to the tumor's proximity to the vessels supplying blood to the organ. A partial nephrectomy is possible but seems like a 50/50 prop.
The surgery is scheduled for August 13 and will mean a 3-5 day hospitalization. Chemo therapy is suggested and underway but not usually effective.
They will be using a robot "Poindexter" to do the surgery. Smaller holes, better articulation once in the body and a high success rate with faster healing times and shorter hospitalization stays.
I want this out of me now: as quick as possible and the one month wait almost kills me. It's convienent in terms of what is going on now with our lives - i.e. the lake house, but the thought of it continuing to grow while nothing is done is terrifying and frustrating.
As of this writing I have 31 days until surgery. I have decided to make everything I do count. To matter. To mean something. To be the best I can do at that time. I will quit smoking before I go to surgery. I will lose 30 pounds this month - by Dr. Pourakbar's scales. I will treat the people I love with love.
In other words, I will live every day like I am dying just like that song by Rascal Flats I think. The one where he rides a bull for 2.43 seconds and parachutes out of an airplane? I will love Deb more fiencely than ever and I will make sure she knows she is loved every single minute of every single day. I will make sure that the kids know i love them and will spend significant time with each and every one. I will make contact with my family again and try and spend time with my son if i can.
I will make everything I do, every minute count for something. I fear I may not make it through surgery and this is my last gasp.
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